"Okay, let's see what's on the tellie tonight. Crossing Jordan, CSI: Miami, reruns of Charmed. Reruns of Seinfeld. Reruns of Drew Carey. Reruns of.. hey, what's this. New reality show. Starts at... *looks at clock* Oh, hell, I better call Lisa!"
"Oh good grief. Rerun after rerun of ER. Show the ones with George Clooney already! This show sucks after he left." *ring ring* "ooh, better get that."
"Hey Lisa, it's Aeronwy. I just saw something in the guide in the paper. A new reality show, you seen it yet?"
"New reality show? No, what's it about?"
Aeronwy: "Well, it says that there are eight people, unsuspectingly placed in a house together, and they have to follow instructions of some controller."
Lisa: "Well, sure beats crappy episodes of non-George Clooney ER. Okay, what channel?"
Aeronwy: "Lemme look... Channel 37."
Lisa: "Okay. Turning it on now. Talk to you later."
*click*
***Cue theme music***
Aaaannnnd.....
Life is shaping up just perfectly. I'm married to Burke. We have a wonderful son, who is so much like his father. I always knew I could make Burke happy, and I always knew he would fall in love with me.
But... where's Burke? Wait a minute... this isn't our bed. I have a waterbed. This is... hang on a sec. What's going on. Burke? Baby, where are you? Oh, he must be with Burke Junior.
And there we were. Minionettes and Burkies alike. Oh, this can't be right. Was I drinking last night? I couldn't have been. Well, let's have a look around. Perhaps this is a practical joke? Perhaps.. ohhh, maybe I've gone into one of those, you know, parallel dimensions or something, like they do in Star Trek: The Next Generation, or like... in soap operas. Yes! That must be it. This is a Holodeck program! Whew. I scared myself for a minute.
"Officers, Minionettes and Worshipers. Gather in the dining room. It is time to learn your fate. It is time to prove your worth, to the all knowing, and all powerful."
"Very good. Now, you are all probably wondering how you got here, and more importantly, why. Well, I will tell you. As you all know, devotion will get you far in life. This is your chance to prove it. To prove that you are indeed worthy of the attention of the Overlord. Fear not, your flesh and blood selves are completely oblivious to what you are being forced to endure. For now."
"You have been removed from your every day lives. You have been brought here, to this house. There is nobody around you know, yet. There is NO escape from this. You must each endure what comes, to prove yourself worthy of the prize. What prize, you may ask? You do not get to find that out, until we discover who the winner is." ..dramatic pause...
".. you don't -trust- me to make this worth your while? Do you think I cannot see the incredulous looks on your faces? Well, do you??"
That's right. I can see and hear everything that is going on in this house. So from now on, you are completely mine. No area of this house is safe. You will have a few minor freedoms. First, two of you may find jobs. It's up to you eight, to agree who will be allowed to leave the property to get a job. The ONLY place you may go, is to that job, and back home. You may not go shopping. You may not go to the movies. You may not go on dates, unless you invite your dates here."
"Four of these chairs will be taken away. You may not have any additional beds. You may not have any additional plumbing. You may only have what is in this house, after these four chairs and the table are removed. You MAY order decorative items, but only through the classfieds. Items that are destroyed in fires, etc, will be replaced, with identical items. As well, you will only have a radio for entertainment. No handheld games, no television. This screen will come on ONLY when I want it to, and only when I wish to communicate with you. Each week, you will be given a task. This task will ensure that you get to remain another week. Each week, one of you will be leaving. Where? You don't get to know that. This will continue, until there is only one of you left. Now. Your fate is in MY hands. Until you hear from me again, you should get to deciding who gets to get jobs."
"ONE Week! I will be watching you. Each. and. every. one. of. you."
*evil laughter fades, as the screen goes blank* Ten minutes later a group of four men, dressed in black jumpsuits come in and take away the four chairs and one table. Without a word, simply an evil look on their face.
'...well damn. How am I going to convince them that it needs to be ME getting one of those jobs. How am I supposed to ever get back to my Burke, and my baby?? I have to get through this, for their sakes...'
Sariana: "Oh, please! You don't know what you're talking about. Burke's already married. To me. Yawn, go away imposter. You just dressed like me so you can try to take my Burke from me. You better stay away from my man!"
WOOTO: "It should be ME, WOOTO, getting a job, because I have a baby to support?" pause "Oh, fine, you're not going to buy that? Well screw you, all of you."
WOOTO: "YOU heard me! I know there are cameras watching me. You won't beat me! I'm Gene Viva, and I'll make sure of it!"
JeannieSusan: "I can't take this pressure! Just someone decide!!!"
...'maybe it should be Cee Cee. Maybe she should get one of the jobs. She's always nice, never gets in anyone's way. I'll talk to her after breakfast.'
CeeCee: "You really think I should, Sariana? I mean.. I thought you would, but I didn't want to assume. Do you think the others will agree?"
Angelia: "Over my Flaming Sword!"
Sariana: "Um.. they didn't let you bring that, Captain."
Angelia: "So? I'll get out of here one way or another and you'll see what retribution is. It should be ME getting a job, so I can have at least SOME freedom."
CeeCee: *sigh*
WOOTO: "Such pretty colours!"
SuziHollyCat: "Is that a cat? Here kitty kitty kitty!"
Jeannie: "Ow! That hurt!"
Carl: "Careful, you know the Overlord is watching. Scuse me, I need some chips."
..ummmm they let her have a butcher knife? Uh oh.
Angelia: "A knife! I can't have my Flaming Sword, but Jeannie can have a KNIFE!! That's not fair. Look she already cut herself. Someone take that away from her!"
SDOTTO: "Oh, Captain. It's just a little knife. How else are we supposed to cook food?"
Announcer Voice: "Tune in next time, to see how the house of Twitchers handles the dilemma. And see just who makes it through to the next week. Thanks for watching LIVING IN OBLIVION."
Until next time... keep your bananas fresh, and your obsession pure.
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